Three Tiny Tyrants
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2/13/2019 0 Comments The Great Napkin StandoffIn prison life, I'm always on the go and never stopping. Responses to the tyrants during routines become muscle memory and take little to no thought as I auto-pilot my way through things like prepping for dinner. It's almost as though it takes more thought and restraint to say nothing than to say something.
Perhaps it was the snow, but something was in the air tonight as we prepped for dinner and Tiny immediately began setting the table without being reminded sixteen times. Of course, watching their fearless leader set the table made Big and Little desire to do the exact same thing at the exact same time. Big self selected a task while Little looked to my guidance. “But WHAT can I do?” he asked with dramatic flair. I glanced at the table, noticing that our very fancy meal of potato pancakes required forks AND knives AND spoons at each table setting, per Tiny's rampant setting. I made a mental note to put the unused silverware back in the drawer before dumping everything in the dishwasher. “Put napkins out.” I called over to Little. As Little jumped up, Tiny grabbed the opportunity to wield his power as he grabbed the napkins from Little's outstretched fingers. “I'm setting the table!” he yelled at his minion. With that, Little devolved into tears. I pleadingly asked Tiny to let Little set out the napkins. “But it's already done!” Tiny said, with a shake of his head, gesturing toward the completed task. Little's cries increased in volume. I sighed and listed off a few other tasks that Little could complete to help with the table. “I WANT TO DO THE NAPKINS!” he shouted, though hiccups and the biggest crocodile tears you ever did see. Big, trying to make the peace, began picking up the napkins and putting them away, but Tiny quickly snatched HIS napkin and placed it back by HIS plate. “Look! Now you can do the napkins!” said Big, peacefully. “BUT I WANT TO DO ALL THE NAPKINS!” Little moaned loudly, glaring meaningfully at the napkin sitting neatly at Tiny's spot. At a loss for any way to solve this problem, I strategically retreated back to the sink and said nothing as I listened to the standoff between Tiny and Little. Tiny protecting his napkin from replacement and Little's moans of despair becoming increasingly louder. For a few moments, no one moved. The only sounds in the room were the progressively loud cries emanating from Little's throat. Suddenly, Little's strategy won out as the monarch of the tyrants conceded. “Fine!” shouted Tiny, as he replaced HIS napkin in the napkin holder, “But I better get THE SAME napkin back!” Like a light-switch, Little's tears immediately stopped flowing and his voice returned to a normal pitch. “Ok!” he said happily, as the napkins setting began yet again and Tiny's eagle eyes carefully watched for his underling to make a mistake. With the great napkin standoff behind us, I returned to the table, bemused by what had passed, ready to store my strategy of non-involvement away for use another time.
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AuthorAnna Christine is a working mother of three boys. She is a teacher, writer, learner, and a fierce advocate for inclusion. Writing is her catharsis for the tough days of parenting. Her writing has appeared on ScaryMommy: Archives
January 2019
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