Three Tiny Tyrants
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11/5/2017 1 Comment Prison LifeIf you are reading this, then you now know that we have adjusted to prison life with the three tiny tyrants. They oversee and rule every aspect of our lives. Their leader is Tiny. Tiny rules on whims and revels in pointing out our failures each day. Tiny is surrounded by his #1 and #2 in charge, Big and Little, respectively. Big and Little are in a constant battle for the approval of Tiny and follow his decrees in the hopes that Tiny will reward them with a morsel of praise. They follow in his footsteps. They mimic his tantrums. They echo his words. We are imprisoned by this trio ruling oligarchy.
This morning began like any other. Tiny awoke, happy to be awake, as I heard him singing in his bed. As I opened the door to his bedroom, he even greeted me with a good morning. Big and Little rolled and moaned in their beds, and, even though I made every attempt to remove Tiny from his bedroom without disturbing Big and Little, they woke up anyway. It was probably from Tiny gleefully running across their beds (narrowly missing their sleeping heads) despite a stern warning from me to quietly come into the hallway. Tiny's mood quickly changed for the worse when I suggested that he use the bathroom before heading downstairs. At this point, Big and Little were both crying to be carried out of the bedroom and to the bathroom. Once I had successfully wrangled all three into the bathroom, they decided that a laser fight of urine was in order. Thankfully, most of the "lasers" wound up in the actual toilet, with very little on the floor and walls. This was one of their more successful "laser fights". Upon reaching the kitchen, Tiny decreed that today should be a pancake day. Since Tiny refuses to eat pancakes unless they are plain and shaped like a heart, I set about making a plain batch of heart shaped pancakes, followed by blueberry for Big, Little and my prison-mate a.k.a The Enforcer. The Enforcer's role is interesting. He, too, is ruled over by the trio, yet he occasionally overthrows their authority by banishing them to a time out in their bedroom. After breakfast, I left the Enforcer to clean up the kitchen while I went upstairs to get dressed for the day. My captors immediately began searching the house for me, happily finding me hiding in my closet within 5 minutes of my departure from the kitchen. Believing that I was playing a game of hide and go seek, they were more than happy to hide in my closet while I began getting dressed (while counting out loud). Unfortunately, my dressing took too long and they burst from the closet (grabbing most of my folded clothing with them) just as I finished brushing my teeth (I guess I stopped counting...). I kicked the clothing back into the closet with a note to self to fold the clothes again (or more likely, throw them back in the dirty laundry pile to be washed again for no real reason other than I can't be bothered to fold them again). In an effort to get Tiny to put on clothes (he generally refuses to get dressed), the Enforcer and I decided to take the trio to the playground. This carrot worked for Big and Little as they immediately got changed into pants, shirts, coats, hats and shoes. Tiny, panicked by his authority being overthrown, began screaming and refusing to get dressed. It was at this point that Little discovered my sinister plans to throw his rotting Halloween pumpkin into the woods in the backyard. He went into complete meltdown mode, determined to foil my plot of keeping moldy vegetables from completely decaying on our front porch. I am sorry to say that I gave in and assured him that his pile of mold and decay slightly resembling a Jack o'Lantern could stay where it was for a few more days. If you're looking for me, just follow the scent of rotting pumpkin flesh. That's my porch. By the time Little got over his meltdown, Tiny decided to get dressed in shorts and a t-shirt to head to the playground (it's 40 degrees out). The Enforcer and I decided to let Tiny learn the error of his ways (since he ignored our pleas to put on more weather appropriate clothing) and packed him a coat, gloves and pants for the inevitable meltdown that was to come when Tiny discovered that it was indeed too cold outside for shorts and a t-shirt. With the three tiny tyrants fed, dressed and in the car, we are calling it a win as we head out to Sunday at the playground.
1 Comment
Nonni
11/6/2017 08:13:40 am
I believe this is very good therapy for you & I throughly enjoyed reading it. Looking forward to future installments.😜
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AuthorAnna Christine is a working mother of three boys. She is a teacher, writer, learner, and a fierce advocate for inclusion. Writing is her catharsis for the tough days of parenting. Her writing has appeared on ScaryMommy: Archives
January 2019
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