Three Tiny Tyrants
Archives
January 2019
June 2018
May 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
January 2019
June 2018
May 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
11/28/2017 0 Comments Lockdown Brings Out the CrazyIf you believe that the Trio brings on the crazy during the daytime hours, it pales in comparison to the crazy they can produce in a short amount of time during our evening lockdown. It's almost as if the words create a pressing need to expend as much energy as possible prior to shutting their eyes for the night.
I gave the signal and began herding the trio towards the stairs and bathroom for a brief evening wash-down (translation: brush teeth and pee). They herded about as well as a trio of angry cats on their way to a bath. The moment I got one wrangled into the bathroom, another one would disappear in a splash of toothpaste on the walls, giggling at their devious escape from unrotten teeth and not wetting their bed. About 40 minutes in, I finally had Big and Little ready for lockdown. As I finished polishing Big's chompers, surviving two bites in the process, I heard a loud thump followed by an ear splitting shriek that pierced the peaceful evening "calm". I raced down the hallway to they tyrants' bedroom to find Tiny bouncing up and down on the bed while Little wailed and rubbed a small mountain that was forming on his temple. When asked to provide context for the current situation, Tiny nonchalantly informed me that they were playing a game. One person had to leap across both beds, then jump over their brother. Unfortunately, Little's head connected with Tiny's knee. "and now he's out." Tiny coolly continued. Little's whimpers amped up to wails again at the notion that in addition to having a goose egg on his head, he was also out of the game. I comforted Little as I let Tiny know that this game could be added the other banned made up games, including "Push the Boom" (one brother pushes the other brother as he jumps over the head of the third brother) and "Dead Mannequin" (one brother jumps over the prone body of another brother as he tries to grab his feet - are we sensing a pattern here?) Tiny frowned at me and informed me that I hate every game they play, before disappearing into the hall. I responded by telling him to brush his teeth for the 47th time that night. Little made a miraculous recovery as Big burst into the room and both began jumping on the beds, laughing inanely. I sternly pointed to Little's head and reminded them why that was a bad idea as they ignored me and continued bouncing. Hearing the water running for a suspiciously lengthy amount of time, I made my way down the hallway again. This time, I was greeted with half an inch of water covering the counter and spilling onto the floor and Tiny, head and hair covered in soap & water. I rubbed my own temples in search of sanity and asked him what he was doing. Tiny shrieked at the sight of me in the mirror and took off down the hall. I raced to catch him and threw his squirming body into the tub to rinse out the hand soap now dripping into his eyes. Blaming me for the stinging now overwhelming his eye sockets, Tiny yelled in pain as I explained that he brought this upon himself. At that moment, another thump and shriek from the bedroom as Big inevitably fell while jumping. I finished drying Tiny and sent him down to investigate while I attempted to mop up the counter. The crying stopped as I overheard Little say, "Won't she be mad?" Being the only "she" in the house, I walked back down the hall to uncover the latest plot: their newest game designed to cause traumatic brain injuries. Giving up on cleanup duty, I decided instead to immediately lull the trio to sleep with bedtime stories before any further brain damage could occur, hoping the water in the bathroom dries before The Enforcer notices it.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorAnna Christine is a working mother of three boys. She is a teacher, writer, learner, and a fierce advocate for inclusion. Writing is her catharsis for the tough days of parenting. Her writing has appeared on ScaryMommy: Archives
January 2019
Categories |